Self Love

A letter to me

Dear Beautiful Soul,

I have so many things that I want to share with you. So many stories, so much love. I have been ripped apart in so many different ways and when I glued myself back together I fell in love with all the pieces. My pieces would lie on the floor like a broken kaleidoscope. Colorful and shining. They were various shapes and sizes. MY Beautiful Choas.

The stories may seem sad but they are how I fell in love. How I feel Loved. I do not wish anyone to ever feel the kind of pain I have felt. I do wish for you to know that learning to love who you are is the truth behind this life. So I will share my stories. I will walk along your path, cheering you on. I will help you glue your pieces together when this storm is done. I will help you prepare for the next storm; as this too shall be.

There are days when getting up simply sucks the energy right out of you. I know this drain. I understand your storm. I feel your hollowness. The echo in that hollow chills me to my core but I know that you will find a way. I have faith in you. I know you will find strength but you just haven’t looked in the right places yet. Keep going. It is there. Don’t cry too hard as that pain will go. Keep your chin up, my dear. I have you. I hold you. I care for you. I do love you, even though right now you can not trust me yet. One day, I hope you can forgive me for not being here sooner.

This labyrinth is a test to see how much you have learned from the last storm. Will you do better this time with all that knowledge you were given the last time? Will you hold tighter to your faith and keep going? Fear is chasing you, breathing in your ear like a hungry wild animal. Fear is hunting you down in this labyrinth. Twists, turns, and unknowing is the map in which you must follow. You may not give up, it is not in your nature. Sure, sit for a moment and catch your breath but get your ass back up. Yes, you hurt. Yes, you are bleeding. Yes, you are quite done with all of this and want this to be the end. But you are not at the grand finale yet, dear soul. You have much more work to do to prove you are ready for your next lesson.

That pain you feel? It’s life. It’s a reminder that you are still alive. No one will rescue you. Shit, the ones who you trusted the most put you here. The question remains do you trust you enough to get you through this damn place? Can you keep going into the unknown and keep focused on your goal? Do you even remember your goals? Did you just get sucked into the place of Fear? Of self-doubt? of Self-loathing?

Oh, yes you are now pissed, dear soul. Have I triggered something in you? Are you ready to END THIS? That’s the spirit! Get the fuck up! Show me that you have not forgotten that your daughter is watching. Show me that you have not forgotten how to tell the wild & hungry FEARS chasing you to simply Fuck off. SHOW ME how much this pain fuels you to get past this horrid place and heal those fucking wounds!

YES, dear one! Pick up the pace, RUN if you must but DO NOT LAY DOWN! YOU HAVE THIS! You are sooooo close.

I promise you you will get through.

YOU WILL PREVAIL.

GO precious, one! RUN!

YOU will WIN!

I will always be by your side, honoring the best in you!

IN love with you,

Self Love

Until next time……………..

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I write pieces of my 43-years journey circling this planet. Some are past and some present. The time is not relevant.

It’s the story of healing, hope, transformation, and my overall determination not to give up.

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Living & Thriving with Rustie

2828 S Mccall Rd

32–4

Englewood, FL 34224